An unnerving storm

Tarot for validation + a personal reading

Sharing directly from your heart isn't always calm, clear and articulate. I want it to be. But sometimes sharing directly from your heart is an unnerving storm.

Mary K Greer has this simple but wonderful method for writing from the heart with tarot. I’ve done it many times and figured I’d do it again today. This wasn’t what I had planned. For my previous two pieces, I took more of an educational angle with an in-depth book review and a discussion on tarot history and the Chariot. I wanted to do something similar today. Teach you something, or share some type of tarot lore.

But I just don’t have it in me right now. Ten minutes ago I was in tears and said to my husband “everything from the biggest issues in the world, wars and genocide and mass shootings, down to the smallest and dumbest minutia of my life, is overwhelming and depressing right now.” It is hard to shift from this into, like… “hey here’s a post on how to read reversed tarot cards!”

Part of writing from your heart with tarot is setting an intention for your writing and today as I shuffled my personal copy of the Spacious Tarot I thought “help me find a message that might be useful to myself and maybe someone who reads this.”

Sometimes when I pull tarot cards they do give answers, help things click into place. Other times, they don’t necessarily illuminate new information but they do something that can be just as vital: they validate what I’m currently thinking/feeling. That’s what the cards are doing today.

The Nine of Wands has me thinking about the theme of protection. Because honestly, I’m not really sure about publishing this post. I think writing more ‘educational’ pieces is a form of protection. Part of why I stopped blogging so frequently is it can feel uncomfortable exposing my innermost thoughts to the world. It feels safer, more protected, to be in teacher mode.

Then it has me thinking about protection as a broader theme. Like how the pretense of protecting yourself/your nation can be used as a justification for unimaginable violence.

Next I pulled the Explorer of Swords. It’s me, shouting into the void. Sometimes that’s all you can do. So here I am.

This card also has me thinking about how sometimes when terrible things happen in the world, we pick apart how others are reacting. And by this I mean we look out for what our friends or celebrities or ‘influencers’ are saying or not saying on social media. I think this can be positive. The whole ‘silence is violence’ thing has some merit. Speaking up can make a difference.

But at the same time, I think sometimes I’ve fallen into the trap of monitoring what other people are saying because it maybe creates an illusion of control. I can’t control what world governments are saying or doing and that is beyond frustrating. So maybe getting mad over what a B-list actor or a tarot reader with a small following is saying (or not saying) is a way to unconsciously project some of that anger.

I’ve been taking a lot of solace in the writings of Dr. Jaiya John lately. He recently wrote:

“Rather than policing other people’s grieving or the language they use to express it, attend to your own grief. So that you do not become yet another destroyer. We dearly need you to be in Love. Outside of love there is no life at all.”

And another one:

“A word may seem like a meaningless thing when confronted with atrocity. But it was words and the absence of words that created the atrocity. Dehumanization is a story fed to souls. You must tell your rehumanizing story. You must tell it with your whole life.”

Of course, I also pulled the Tower. OF COURSE. Sometimes I think the Tower shows up just to validate that, yeah, shit’s bad. It was a particularly affirming card to pull today. No one wants to be in Tower energy. But the only thing that’s even worse than being in Tower energy is being there and believing there’s something wrong with you for feeling the way you do. I think this card showed up for me today just to validate, yeah, things are awful right now, let’s not sugarcoat that.

I don’t always do this but occasionally I’m drawn to check the card at the bottom of the deck, which I did just now and it was the World. A sweet balm.

The World reminds me that We Are One. This isn’t merely some spiritual platitude, damnit. It is a poignant and complex spiritual concept in many different lineages, to be sure. It’s a scientific fact as well.

Today this card brings to mind a beautiful sentiment Danielle Coke Balfour recently shared on Instagram. She said:

We’re feeling it now. The tugs on the strings that tie us together. From Palestine to Sudan, from Yemen to Congo, from Israel to Ukraine, the arms reaching out for freedom & refuge pull on our heartstrings…. This tug is asking something of you. Will you create? Write? March? Pray? Connect? Read? Call? Feel? Give? The decision is yours. It doesn’t always have to feel “big” to be meaningful. It doesn’t have to be “loud” to be heard. It doesn’t have to be public to be legitimate. It just has to be yours.

The beauty of this is, when I’m pulled one direction, you may be pulled in another. This is humanity. It’s how we cover ground. Don’t let your dissatisfaction with someone else’s response distract you from where your tug leads you. Just go. It all matters. It’s all felt.

What a gift it is to be connected to each other.

Well, that made me cry again. But in a way tinged a little less with despair, a little more with hope. Thank you for being here with me today as I shared something more personal. I hope something here resonates with you but if not there is a whole wide internet out there so go forth.

I’m already working on an outline for my next piece, which will be back to more tarot-centered teachings. And I’m excited but nervous because it’s gonna be a verrryyyy big & maybe controversial topic: gender and tarot. See you then.

Carrie